Oh Dear...

Has it come down to this?

There is a, what I believe to be, mentally-ill squirrel who comes to visit my window sill every few days or so. Why do I think it is not well? Because it has patches of fur missing yet it continues to scratch itself repeatedly. Not only that, when I approach the window or lightly tap the glass, it remains there, not perturbed by my presence.

So the only visitor I have coming to my window is a patchy, balding, itchy squirrel?!

Just Cuz It's Over, Doesn't Mean It's Over

Best valentine message I saw yesterday:

Instead of getting you a valentine, I am just going to ravage your body.

Scrambled.

I am certain that a lot of people who are on the job hunt and are tired of hitting wall after frustrating wall of rejections has considered selling their eggs before.

Loco!

Yeah, yeah, it's been a while since I've written on this blog. I migrated over to Tumblr, and heaven only knows why I decided to write a post here today. But here I am. Typing. So there.

So what's been going on since I last wrote? Well, I quit my job, took over to Europe to help out with a music festival, returned, found another part-time gig and some other projects and now I'm contemplating another move. Gah. For a dream job. Double gah. Right job, wrong city.

When I was younger, I used to pride myself of the fact that I could move every few years. And now that I've settled somewhere for more than (gasp!) two years, I'm more reluctant to pick up and go. Vacations, yes. Relocation, maybe. Like Sisyphus, who was given the eternal task of rolling a huge stone up a hill only to have it roll back down, sometimes I wonder if I'm destined to constantly re-root. Is my punishment to keep on keeping on?

Aside from that, there is a lot of other muck in my head these days. A dear friend of mine lost a relative she was estranged to, so I am trying to figure out how to provide support for her. Navigating through her grief and emotions has not been easy.

I've also been digging around my own family tree and a series of mini Pandora's boxes have been opened, threads slowly unraveling. There were many things I did not know about my family and sort of am shocked to find out. Then there are a few things I am quite pleased to hear about. Needless to say, it's been an emotional roller coaster lately, which might explain why I was compelled to write an entry.

What better way to process life's confusion than by airing out the mucky laundry online?

For more frequent and less personal posts, check out my Tumblr page.

Sunday Review

I've been eating cookies like Cookie Monster lately. Half a cup of butter coupled with flour, chocolate and sugar makes life more than all right, I say. And what better way to spend a Sunday than eating cookies and reading/writing?

I also got a helmet. Finally. While I don't necessarily agree with all the propaganda helmet proponents put forth (smart cycling without a helmet is safer than stupid cycling with a helmet...duh), I figured I might as well have one for long or night rides.

The livre currently in my grubby hands is Bike Snob's fantastic book, which has me simultaneously spitting out in laughter and nodding as the book engages and informs the reader about the cycling world. An excellent read, and I highly recommend it. Not to mention the graphics and layout of the book is pretty cool. It puts me at ease like finally hitting empty, paved roads.

Ow.

I had the first tumble on my bike in the city a few weeks ago. It's been a long time since I've fallen off a bicycle, probably about seven years. Ouch. I went over the handlebars when I had to brake suddenly. My front wheel locked too quickly and my back threw me forward. Fortunately I landed in a way that didn't involve me smashing my face in or losing any teeth.

I was bruised and sore for days -- similar to when you work out and burn all that lactic acid, but without any of the benefits of working out.

Luckily there was little traffic, and I was able to get myself onto the sidewalk before any cars came by.

The perception of time totally shifts when you're facing danger. I know it must have been quite the sight to see. This girl riding along in a nice coat and dress and heels only to fly forward, going over the handlebars and land on the ground, chest and arms first. I'm sure the entire thing only took seconds, but when I was going over the bars, I had time to think, "Oh, I'm going over the handlebars, and I should land like this to minimize pain." The whole thing was simultaneously quick and slow-moving.

I'd like to think that we've evolved to adjust to danger like this. Or maybe my mind is just that quick.

Either way, I'm glad to be okay.

Summa, summatime!

It's shameful how long it's been since my last update. I'm not going to lie...the next update may be just as long if not longer.

The summer has been one of the best in my life. I've filled it with bicycles, taking lots of photos, hangouts with a myriad of characters ranging from the good, the bad and the ugly. Job aside, I've been swamped with outside projects that have saved my soul and given me many good things to look forward to in the fall.

Normally I feel overwhelmed in the summer simply because the number of activities and invites go up and the energy level is high. Sleep is non-existent and the pressure to constantly be doing something is too great. This summer, while I have felt stressed and overwhelmed a bit, I've also been quite happy and excited about the work I'm doing. I've had a couple projects that are near and dear to me, so I'm more than happy to sacrifice sleep and sanity.

And finally, finally, I have the opportunity to go abroad in the fall. I don't want to give too many details as the press release hasn't come out yet, but I'm helping some good folks plan a music festival in Europe. So if all falls into place, I'll be heading over in November. I figure I have to take this opportunity to do a bit of travelling and writing and simply recharging my soul and body.

It's been a great last few months and I'm learning a lot, but I'm also scared shitless. I've taken on a few new challenging roles, and I have no idea what I'm doing. Fake it until you make it, I guess.