Kebler's tree was a sweatshop

Normally I hate Halloween. Now, friends, you must be thinking: "What kind of a Scrooge Mc-Jack-o-lantern are you?" To which, I reply, "Boo-humbug!"

Yes, I hate Halloween. There's always so much pressure to come up with a "good" costume and now you can sexify any costume. Lobster? How about a sexy lobster? Piece of sushi? Let's bring sexy back!

Well, I say no. If I had it my way, I'd be this for Halloween. Or this brilliant piece of paper mache art.

Alas, my construction skills are subpar. More importantly, my time-management skills are poor. My sewing skills aren't bad, so I've resorted to being a garden gnome. I got a green apron, a flower, made a pointy hat, a mushroom and a beard (the pattern I found here) et voila!

All I need is a pipe and a jaunty idiosyncrasy, and I'm set!